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Bouvier
stories

canine poetry

Maybe You Don't Want To Know - by Lonnie Giroux
No Title, Zen-like poem - submitted by Jan Bloomfield
Haiku - Carol McE
The Dog's Cold Nose by Glenda Szkrybalo
A Christmas Poem - submitted by Len Gaska


 

 

 

"maybe you don't want to know"
by Lonnie Giroux


 

Why Dear God does it happen
At night while your nappen
Who knows the reason,
She's wasn't sick, nor in season.
False pregnancy's past
So who the hell knows
Three or four great big heaves and oh shit . . . there she blows
My slumber now shaken
Came a sound UN-mistaken
A hideous noise quite un-nerving was heard
Not a whine, let me out, not even a word
It came straight from her toes
And snot flew from her nose
Not just snot I'll admit
There was more, oh much more
A pool of yellow spit
Oh Teddy please wait
Two more feet
There's the door
Oh sweet baby don't worry
It's only a floor
No more details dear friends
It's coming up dawn
My eyes are still blurred
I'm beginning to yawn
One more thing
I must say this
There's one thing I hate
That's to clean when half sleeping
So it'll just have to wait.

She puked on my rug

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submitted by Jan Bloomfield
4 Mar '99


This was sent by a friend in California, and has a zen-like quality.
(Well, of course it does.)




I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be

Today I sniffed
Many dog butts-I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy-come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend-come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Meter reader-come to kill all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man-come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat-come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Wiz on each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle

I hate my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe catching cats

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do

The cat is not all
Bad-she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls

Dig under fence-why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

You may call them fleas,
But they are far more -I call
Them a vocation

My owners' mood is
Romantic-I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.

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from: Carol McE
date: 19 Mar '99

Haiku




Nose against the glass
The kids are home from school now!
Hear the happy dance

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from: Glenda
by: Arthur Guiterman

 

THE DOG'S COLD NOSE



When Noah, perceiving 'twas time to embark,
Persuaded the creatures to enter the Ark,
The dog, with a friendliness truly sublime,
Assisted in herding them. Two at a time
He drove in the elephants, zebras and gnus
Until they were packed like a boxful of screws,
The cat in the cupboard, the mouse on the shelf,
The bug in the crack; then he backed in himself.
But such was the lack of available space
He couldn't tuck all of him into the place;
So after the waters had flooded the plain
And down from the heavens fell blankets of rain
He stood with his muzzle thrust out through the door
The whole forty days of that terrible pour!
Because of which drenching, zoologists hold,
The nose of a healthy dog always is cold!

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author unknown
submitted by Lynn Porter via Len Gaska


A Christmas Puppy


Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
With no thought of the dog filling their head.
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Knew he was cold, but didn't care about that.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Figuring the dog was free of his chain and into the trash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of midday to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Santa Claus - with eyes full of tears.

He unchained the dog, once so lively and quick,
Last years Christmas present, now painfully thin and sick..
More rapid than eagles he called the dogs name.
And the dog ran to him, despite all his pain;

"Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Let's find this dog a home where he'll be loved by all"

I knew in an instant there would be no gifts this year,
For Santa Claus had made one thing quite clear,
The gift of a dog is not just for the season,
We had gotten the pup for all the wrong reasons.
In our haste to think of the kids a gift
There was one important thing that we missed.

A dog should be family, and cared for the same
You don't give a gift, then put it on a chain.
And I heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight,
"You weren't giving a gift! You were giving a life!"


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